And this is why everyone should have a TV

I’d like to interrupt our regularly scheduled programming of spray paint and puppy pictures to talk about TV.
The TV is amazing.  I learn more stuff from TV than from Facebook. 
Actually, that may be a lie.
I learn everything a lot from Facebook.
Let me clarify.
I learn breaking news and events from Facebook and I learn about history, decorating, food and how to solve crimes on TV.
News the Michael Jackson died…. Facebook.
How to value that old radiator that was buried in our front yard ?  TV (Picker Sisters to be exact…. who knew I could get $9 per “rung” in the radiator?  I hope whoever picked it up, got fair market value for the rungs!)
Anyway, reality TV is usually my go-to, mind-numbing selection, and that includes everything from dating shows to design shows. I was watching Pawn Stars, or was it Storage Wars? This weekend I fell victim to what every TV exec hopes for- being too lazy to change the channel when the next show started.
These TV execs are smart.  They don’t make the big bucks for nothing.  They plan their programming so strategically that they can guess that if I enjoy watching fat guys buy cool items for their pawn shop, or annoying guys buy storage lockers and then dig through random crap, that I “should” also enjoy watching two guys start with crap and end up with cool stuff, which is how I stumbled upon my new love; Barter Kings.
For those of you who haven’t been blessed by any of the above mentioned shows in your life, I feel sorry for you.  You have no idea what you are missing.  QUALITY entertainment, I promise!
Anyway, after watching 10 minutes, I was hooked, and I think I found my new calling in life.
I am not exactly sure how I’m just realizing this, because we all know how much I love to barter at garage sales.  Heck, I would barter at retail stores if I had the balls to actually ask for a discount…. but as my friend Bunnie says “we are not in Mexico, not everything is a negotiation.”
So anyway.  Back to the show.
The basic premise is that there are 2 guys and they both start out with some sort of item that is not very expensive, but has some cache to it.  They post it for “trade” on Craigslist and they see what people are willing to offer for it.  They “trade up,” meaning that get something of more value or even cooler, that they then turn around and trade again.  The string continues until they end up with a very high-value item like a car.
Here is a short clip of trading a beach cruiser for a vintage arcade game.

So, obviously this is on TV, which means they have to get something awesome for their trades.  They should have a disclaimer at the bottom saying “results not typical,” like they do in all those weight loss ads. I mean, I don’t believe that I would start with a pair of shoes and end up with a car.
But the theory is really what interests me the most.
What do I have- that I don’t want, that I could trade for something I do want?
I decided to tell Chris about this new calling of mine over dinner last night.  Our conversation went something like this:
Me: Hey, so I watched a show about bartering and the guy started with a heater and ended up with a car and never spent a dime! How cool is that? I could totally do that.
Chris: Huh?
Me: This guy started out with a heater and traded other people for bigger and better things until he got a car.  He had a tanning bed for a while, then he found a lady who wanted it who was getting divorced and she wanted to trade her Ex’s car.  It was awesome.
Chris: Don’t these people have jobs?
Me: This is their job- that and being on TV.  The trade for stuff that they could sell and make money.  I should totally do that.
Chris: Think about how much time and energy they spend finding people to trade with, not to mention the gas prices, possibly spending money to fix up the items and obviously they are not putting any value on their time.  After they drive all over the state trading for slightly cooler, more expensive crap, they probably haven’t made that much money.  If they just got a real job and worked, they probably would have made more money in the end.
Me: Oh, yeah I guess.
Chris: Stick with your day job.
And that is how the dream died.
Leave it to Chris to be the practical one in this relationship.  I was envisioning cars and tanning beds and my own reality show. 
Obviously I would need a new twist on the bartering to garner my own show, so my show would be called “Bartering with Baby” where I barter with people to get cool stuff, and when they play hardball, I pull the baby out of the car and use the cuteness factor to sway them to give me a good deal.  There would be a whole montage in the opening credits of me pulling the baby, aka “the big guns” out of the car to close a particularly difficult deal.  It would appeal to bargain hunters and moms alike…. sounds like ratings gold to me.
Alas, don’t expect to see “Bartering with Baby” in your TV guide anytime soon.  Obviously, I don’t have a baby yet- and the show would be nothing without my sidekick, AND Chris made some good (dream crushing) points….
So I’m still doing my regular job, but I am going to check out this whole bartering thing.  I found a whole “barter” section on Craigslist(did you know they had that???).  I think I will try my hand at some bartering in the coming weeks.  I have a whole box full of stuff I was planning on dropping off at Goodwill, so I’ll try to see what I can barter with. 
I’ll keep you posted on the progress…. both on the bartering and the reality show.