The house that never was

Remember when Chris and I went house hunting for our Anniversary?

Well, that not-so-serious house hunt because oh-so-serious in a hurry.

We found a house that checked all the boxes (even ones we didn't know we had)....except one.

Via Zillow
It was new construction (which normally we are not that into, but this was amazingly well done).

It was HUGE, but in a very family-friendly-doesn't-seem-ostentatiously-huge kind of way- it would have been great for entertaining and the boys could have had plenty of space to run.

It over looked HUSY STADIUM.  This my friends, is Chris' childhood (and manhood) fantasy (unless of course we could live IN the stadium).

Via Zillow
It was walking distance to University Village where I could window-shop to my heart's content (because I wouldn't have any money left after buying the house).

It had a 2 car GARAGE and extra storage space.

It was fully furnished with the most beautiful and pristine Pottery Barn furniture that ever was crafted (not that 2 boys and a dog couldn't have ruined it in 1 week flat, but for a brief moment it would have been catalog perfection).
Via Zillow
It was the stuff dreams are made of.

The one wasn't in Queen Anne.

Yes, I realize that I mentioned location twice in the "oh my goodness it is amazing" section, but despite the walkability to U Village and Husky stadium, it was not in "our neighborhood."

We visited the house 3 times.  Walking through it, planning our children's bedrooms and how we would wake up on game days, toss open the balcony doors and be able to hear the tailgaters setting up and the band doing warm ups (yes, this is a plus for us).

We sat on all the cream colored furniture and I said a hopeful prayer that all the slipcovers were washable.

We stood in the master bathroom shower  with 2 shower heads and laughed at how we could fit both of us, two boys and Ketch inside of the shower and not be squished at all- because in my life, I never get to shower alone so I may as well buy a home that allows me to have my own space while the whole rest of the family takes all my hot water.

We imagined parking cars in our humongous garage, which happened to have spare parking on the side for a golf cart that would take us to and from the Husky games.

We found a spot to put up a basketball hoop in the drive way so the boys would be able to play at home.

We imagined our whole life there.  It would have been lovely.

But not perfect.

As if anything would be perfect. Perfection doesn't actually exist, I know that.  But this would have been close.

There was something pulling at me; something I was trying to ignore.

It was the perfect house in the imperfect neighborhood.

Chris knew that trying to leave QA would be an uphill battle with me, but the house was so great, and the neighborhood would have been lovely, so he was hoping that I would be able to let go of QA.

I tried.

Really I did.

But then I broke down.

I had a level 5, ugly-crying, melt down over the prospect of buying this house.

It wasn't about the house.  Or the neighborhood.

It was about leaving Queen Anne behind.

It was about the community I have tapped into on QA.  I have met the most amazing group of moms, families and neighbors.  I have people here.

They are the village that people talk about.  They are the ones who loan you baby gear, pass along hand me downs, dole out preschool recommendations, send you home with bags of chocolate when you have pregnancy cravings, take your dog to the park for you when you are too sick to do it yourself, and who offer to take your children for a few hours so you can have some peace and quiet to regain your sanity.

The prospect of leaving all of that behind to move 15 minutes away (yes I realize that is NOT far), made me melt into a puddle of tears.

At least half of the tears I blame on this baby (it's been one emotional pregnancy this time around), but the other half were a bit like tears on the last day of summer camp...promising to be BFF4L, diligent pen pals and to visit each other over spring break, but knowing that after a few letters and phone calls, that you will drift apart forever.

The community I have found on QA is fantastic.  Mostly it's moms and babies, so Chris doesn't feel nearly as tied to the community as I do (and he'd give it all up in a second for walkability to Husky stadium).  We have some families who we are friends with that we would stay friends no matter where we lived, but I just couldn't let go of it all.

Through my tears I mentioned to Chris how we had an impromptu BBQ just the weekend before and had texted a handful of QA friends to pop by if they were free. While we were BBQing, friends just kept showing up.  A few came through the front door, some simply walked down the alley and let themselves in through the back gate, and another neighbor who heard us laughing late that night ambled over to join us for a drink after pretending to give us a hard time about being too loud.

That is what I want in a home.

A place where friends drop by unannounced just because they were walking past and saw our lights on.

Sure, I supposed we could use more space, but what good is a huge house full of space with no one to share it with.

So, in the end we didn't put an offer in.

We decided to wait. To see what happened.

I told Chris I was waiting for a sign (which is not like me at all).  I needed to take some time and sit with it.  If the house sold while I was mulling it over, then it wasn't meant to be.

And it wasn't.

Another family bought the house and will probably live happily ever after there.

We, on the other hand, are living happily ever after in our little old house and it's just fine by us.

We probably won't last longer than another year or two in this little house of ours, but when we do leave, it will be for the right Queen Anne.

We may even embark on building a home.

Who knows.

Until then, we are still knee deep in our bathroom remodels and we have about a week until baby boy shows up....

So you know....we are keeping busy.