Total breakdown

There are days when I feel like I am a rockstar at this whole working-full-time-parenting-a two-year-old-cooking-a-baby-and-living-through-a-remodel thing. 

Then there are days when I literally burst into tears and melt into a puddle- because it is hard. 

Since I try to ensure that I keep it real and not pretend that everything is unicorns and butterflies 24/7, I have to be honest- I think I am on a slow roll to a mental breakdown.

Yes- in case it slipped your mind.  I was due Saturday.  The baby has not yet made an appearance.

This is all new to me, mostly because Hunter was a very prompt baby and decided to come out on his due date.

This baby is actually a pretty great listener, because I told him that I would like him to stay inside on his due date because we wanted to take Hunter to the Husky home opener football game.  And he listened.

Good baby.

But now- two days later- I'm ready for him to come out.

He's making me crazy.

I literally burst into tears over breakfast recently, leaving Chris bewildered and Hunter hugging my leg- not knowing what to do to make mommy better.

This pregnancy has been an emotional roller coaster.

My pregnancy with Hunter was pretty much the opposite of emotional.  No tears were shed, no melt downs happened, I was pretty much exactly the same as usual, except fatter.

This time around, I'm definitely fatter, but I have also had the propensity to burst into tears pretty much all the time. I feel a small flood dammed behind my eyes at all times- and I seem to have no control over when it opens.

Usually it's a build up from the stress of the day, but sometimes I even surprise myself.  I will start leaking from the eyes and I think to myself...I literally can't stop this from happening.

Sometimes the tears are warranted, sometimes they are not- I'm pretty sure I still know the difference.

I usually handle the stress of life pretty well and I just try to take it one day at a time, but the last few weeks have put me over the edge.

My last week of work was the tipping point.  I was trying to ensure I had EVERYTHING set for the next 4.5 months, so I knew there would be a few late nights in the office and more than a bit of working from home after Hunter went to sleep.

So, when Chris had to go out of town for 4 days that week on a business trip my stress level increased a bit.

Then, when our wonderful nanny unexpectedly came down with an unknown throat infection leaving me childcare-less, my stress rose again.

Then, as luck would have it- the bathroom remodel had progressed to the point where they had to rip out the upstairs bathroom- leaving me shower-less and bathtub-less- meaning I was relegated to wash only what I could fit into the kitchen sink (let me paint you a picture- very LITTLE of me fits into the sink at this point).

So, I was an unshowered, single parent with a 3 page work to-do list who was quickly loosing her sh**.

I know I should have done this WAY SOONER, but I broke down and asked for help. Duh, that would have probably saved me from my ultimate implosion.

I called my mom at work and begged for some assistance.  Basically I invited myself, Hunter and Ketch to stay at their house for the night so I could get some work done and take a proper shower.

Of course they were more than willing to help out, and Hunter couldn't be happier to have an impromptu slumber party with two of his favorite people.

It was a fantastic night off, but the next day I returned to real life.

I started asking for help a lot more and realized I have no shame- I started asking to take showers at everyone's house I visited. 

Yes- I realize it is a very strange request, but I have found that very few people are willing to tell a hugely pregnant lady that she cannot use their shower. Especially when said pregnant lady explains the length of time since her last shower.

Have shampoo- will travel.

So here we are.  2 days overdue.

The anticipation is killing me.

And so is the exhaustion. 

So hopefully this baby comes out soon, before I loose my mind.